The early game on day four was Holland Vs. Denmark; the clash of the big strapping athletic lads, supported by big strapping, hugely attractive lasses.

A decent enough match-up in which the Dutch, although not asserting their superiority with ruthless potency, certainly showed glimpses of what they’re capable of. I have another bet on Holland to win it (at a very generous 10/1) and it could well be their year. In the past, they’ve had better teams and more sought-after star players than at present but, despite their skillful, all-action approach to the game, have never before won the World Cup and usually fail to deliver due to too many internal clashes of self-regarding ‘better than thou’ players’ egos.

It appears those self-aggrandising problem players have been cleared out with coach Bert Van Marwijk’s new orange broom and it’s now a more palpable sense of greater harmony and a collective will to succeed is evident. Holland didn’t even have a team worthy of note until the turn of the ‘70s, the social and cultural revolutions of the late-‘60s also coinciding with a footballing one in the Netherlands, but they faltered twice in two successive ‘70s World Cup finals when they had a chance to create a dynasty and go down in football history as something more than ‘the best team never to win the World Cup’ (Magnificent Magyars aside, perhaps).

This World Cup has seen a hugely disappointing lack of pervy cameramen and TV editors picking out all the hotties in the crowd. They were mad for it at France ’98 and Germany ’06 (dirty Europeans!) This game was a prime opportunity to have a good ogle at de pretty Danske damen und fraulein das Nederlanden. You can be sure of eeet! The Danes have no reason to worry just yet. They acquitted themselves reasonably well and both Dutch goals were unlucky on them; a crazy double-edged own goal that came off one of the corners of Simon Poulson’s 50 pence piece-shaped head then deflected off Daniel Agger’s back past a helpless Sørensen and a late goal that deceived covering defenders by coming back off the post and presenting Kuyt with an easy tap-in.
I’ve always wondered about the correct pronunciation of Kuyt’s surname. Some say ‘Kowt’ or ‘Kite’ but, as it’s spelt with a ‘..uy..’, as in Cruyff, you’d assume it’d be pronounced ‘Koyt’. Just to clear things up, it is ‘Kowt’ so you can all sleep soundly now.

Japan Cameroon was another disappointing game. An interesting clash of cultures and styles but not a very productive way to spend 2 hours indoors on a sunny day. I’m glad Japan won, though. Not just because happy Japs are a warming sight to see but it also leaves the group open a bit more. That Japanese coach, Okado, doesn’t look right happy, though. Proper grumpy bugger, looking like he’d be more at home holding a boom mike in the pissing rain, on location with Akira Kurosawa. He clearly has no time for mavericks (i.e. exciting talented players) like the two Nakamuras; Kengo and former Celtic genius, Shunsuke and I reckon his cautiousness might cost them dear in the end. They should have plenty of pace and power, though, seeing as they had a Honda on the pitch and have 3 players employed by Kawasaki. Kawasaki Frontale F.C. that is.

I have to say, I concur with the view that Italy are too old and crusty to retain the World Cup. It was a genuine shock when they won it four years ago and although you can never write them off and they’re just as fit and more experienced than 4 years ago but, when it really matters in the later stages, I just can’t see them having enough in the locker to pull it out of the bag- to drag a couple of football-speak clichés out of another kind of large receptacle in order to make them cross-pollinate into one multifarious Superfootballcliché. You tend to respect Italy rather than fear, admire or fancy them but there was little to admire about this performance. Their age isn’t the sole issue. As Mick McCarthy gruffly said in commentary; ‘When Ireland were at Italia ’90, we were the ‘old father time’ team but it’s not all about just running about’. It’s their lack of creativity and strike power too. They’re never gonna concede a hatful of goals but Italy never thrash teams either, seeming happy to settle for a win by a singular goal and celebrate how efficiently their well-oiled defensive machine performed, rather than how the sharpness of their attacking play rendered their opponents demoralized and deflated.
Paraguay looked pretty good in the first half and certainly didn’t deserve to lose- especially considering the equaliser by the scruffy-looking De Rossi (pictured) came from their own keeper’s dozy error. A bit of a cagey stalemate but neither team should have too many problems getting out of this piss-easy group those jammy Italian cry-babies have found themselves drawn in.