Holland, along with Argentina, became the only team to win their opening two games with a 1-0 win o’er the Japs. They had to work hard for it and Japan, keeping possession patiently, looked assured and determined not to lose. It seemed they might succeed until Wesley Sneijder’s bullet from the edge of the box bamboozled Kawashima, who could only pat-a-cake it off his gloves and into the opposite side of his goal in another apparent goalie’s gaff. Kawashimi redeemed himself with two other fine saves to keep Japan in it and they could’ve snatched a deserved draw when Okazaki just volleyed over late on. That sets up a delicious-looking ‘winner takes all’ decider in Japan’s next game with Denmark.

Australia looked about as convincing- and as wobbly- as this Aussie woman’s fake funbags (above) in their opening game but they’ll consider themselves lucky not to win against Ghana as it was a more committed and much-improved performance- not as if they could’ve played worse than they did against the Germans. All told, they’ll have to happy with a point having played 3/4 of the game with ten men, Kewell being rightly dismissed for stopping a certain Johnathan Mensah goal on the line with his outstretched arm. Gyan’s successful penalty conversion cancelled out Brett Holmans’s early opener and made sure Ayew’s skill and tenacity in setting up Mensah’s original strike didn’t go unrewarded.

Is it possible for Brett Holman (pictured) to be any more Australian? You can just see him finishing off and crushing a tin of VB before coming on as sub wearing cut-off denim shorts and he probably wrestles crocs as part of his strength and conditioning training.

The Danes’ match against Cameroon was probably the best so far, in terms of exhaustive action and sheer unpredictability. Cameroon were handed a goal on a silver platter when the half-asleep Christian Poulsen received a risky short ball from Sorensen and gave it away to Webo, who squared for the grateful Eto’o to slam it home. Not long after though, a rampaging Rommedahl controlled Kjaer’s 60-yard Hollywood ball from the back on his chest and slotted a lovely ball into the fabled ‘corridor of uncertainty’ for Bendtner to slide in and notch an equaliser. Denmark nearly repeated their earlier gift to Cameroon when Eto’o hit the post after another perilous pass from the keeper went awry then, in a fairly breathless end-to-end game, Tomasson may have put them in front. Denmark did nudge ahead in the 2nd half when roadrunner Rommedahl scampered down the right, easily cut inside the defender and belted a simple-looking but brilliantly-taken shot wide of the goalie’s right glove and into the net.

This result confirmed Holland’s qualification into the 2nd round but it’s a real stinker for the tournament that an African team has failed to progress, the ‘Indomitable Lions’ of Cameroon becoming the first country to be eliminated.
Speaking of real stinkers, you must’ve seen this ludicrous advert for Right Guard X-Treme, where this sweaty bastard is ostracised by his well-groomed buddies who all slope off to watch the game on the crummy portable in the kitchen instead:

On another unrelated visual theme, I have been enjoying the super slo-mo action replays in this World Cup. They sometimes show random, wholly unnecessary replays but, when slowed down frame-by-frame, legs colliding together in crunching tackles look especially painful and even simple headers by centre-halves look pretty unpleasant when you see the facial muscles contorting as the force of the ball hitting the head causes the whole face to wobble. Even with these apparently lightweight 99p flyaway seaside promenade Jabulani balls.

The pictures appear to be FIFA’s own, as their logo flashes up before and after every replay. FIFA have always had cameras there filming footage to be edited for their always-excellent Official World Cup Films but they seem to have embraced the technological HD revolution with this one. The amount of money they’ve made from selling TV rights across the world beggars belief, but it’s warming to know that even underpriveliged countries unused to football on TV can actually get to see the World Cup.
Unless you live in Somalia, that is. Check this scandalous state of affairs out:
BBC News – Somali militants threaten World Cup TV viewers