I enjoy writing and I’m up for the occasional challenge, so that’s why I attempted to review this terribly piss-weak slither of wussy Europap I once got sent (which originally got published here).   It’s far easier to eulogise about music you’re genuinely passionate about but I figured being able to express exactly why something is so hideously lame is some kind of skill in itself. Sort of.

Enrique Iglesias- ‘Away’

This is one of two brand new tracks that are lazily tagged onto the end, sorry… two new tracks that feature on and greatly enhance Señor Iglesias Jr.’s just-released ‘Greatest Hits’ album.

It starts promisingly enough with five whole seconds of dreamy Vangelis-like synth but then droops its weary shoulders and hunches into a gawky attempt at a Latino-tinged R’n’B ballad in which, during the inane chorus, it sounds like our Enreek is speaking in tongues or practising vocal exercises: ‘Why you wanna throw me away? Oh Why? No way, no way. Away! Oh! Why?!

Shame he couldn’t have fit ‘Hawaii’ into the lyrics somewhere and completed the set.

Judging by the chronological timeline of his album sleeves, ‘Away’ could actually be a farewell song to his gradually diminishing facial mole, as I recall that lil’ fella had a Geordie accent on Bo! Selecta. ‘Away, Enrique, let’s gan doon tha toon’.

(Skip to 3min45sec for Enrique’s mole’s celeb goss round-up)

Overall, this single’s a fine reminder of just how jolly well seductive Enrique can be, even when he’s simply imparting random vowel sounds. A tea-spluttering 100-&-odd-million worldwide album sales suggest he must be doing summat right.

Have a quick listen yourself, see if you agree…